1 00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:03,916 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:05,222 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 3 00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:06,093 You may kiss the bride. 4 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,922 We'd like to pay for a honeymoon. 5 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,664 What would you say to an all-expenses-paid 6 00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,797 weekend at Dollywood? 7 00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:15,798 - Shut up. - Oh, my God. 8 00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:16,929 Thank you. 9 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,193 Huh? Oh, that ain't good. 10 00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,761 Connie Tucker, please stop running. 11 00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:23,936 Why are you handcuffed? 12 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,460 I was just... 13 00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:26,983 taking the baby for a walk, 14 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,680 and Cagney and Lacey here decided 15 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:31,422 that I was evading arrest. 16 00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,863 How's that feel? 17 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,300 Unnecessary. 18 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:40,779 You ran from the police. 19 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,085 You're a flight risk. 20 00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,044 She can't run. She got a funky hip. 21 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,220 - She can barely waddle. - Watch it. 22 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,612 You got a 50-yard radius 23 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,353 from the base. 24 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:50,702 It'll beep when you get close to the edge. 25 00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:53,009 If you cross it, we get a call. 26 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,707 If you tamper with it, we get a call. 27 00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:57,231 Will it give her a little zap? 28 00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:58,754 No. 29 00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,060 Well, how's she gonna learn? 30 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,018 Will it beep if I kill him? 31 00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,628 As long as it's within 50 yards, 32 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,326 go for it. 33 00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,633 I can't leave the house? 34 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:11,114 What the hell am I supposed to do all day? 35 00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:12,855 I am way ahead of you. See? 36 00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:15,075 I stopped and I picked up puzzles. 37 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:19,209 Got us the Grand Canyon and Dogs Playing Poker. 38 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:23,953 If I were to run right now, would you shoot me? 39 00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:28,392 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 40 00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:30,655 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 41 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:33,441 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 42 00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:36,008 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 43 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:40,230 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 44 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,496 Ooh. I found a corner. 45 00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,803 - Congratulations. - Oh, come on. 46 00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,283 We can have a little fun. 47 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:52,329 I have lost my business, I have lost my home, 48 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:55,854 I have lost my freedom, and you want to have fun? 49 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:58,205 A little fun. 50 00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,729 Do you not understand? I could be going to jail. 51 00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:03,035 Oh, come on, please. 52 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,864 They're not gonna send a sweet old grandma to the pokey. 53 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,475 Well, I hope not. Ah. 54 00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:10,913 Well, tell me something if you would. 55 00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,089 Is that sky or water? 56 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,091 Let me see it. 57 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,487 It's a good thing that didn't go 50 yards. 58 00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,576 You can still get it. 59 00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,448 Hey, we're back. 60 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,363 Hey, hi. 61 00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:27,625 Where's my little girl? 62 00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:30,933 Um, she's with Mary. 63 00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:32,152 Why? 64 00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:35,155 Well, how do I put this? 65 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,116 What the heck is that? 66 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,770 I'm under house arrest. 67 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,380 Why? 68 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,294 We got busted. 69 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,295 We? 70 00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:46,818 Me. 71 00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:47,993 Do they know about Georgie? 72 00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,517 No, of course not. 73 00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:51,214 Your grandma's not a snitch. 74 00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,955 Which, by the way, will serve you well 75 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:55,305 if you end up in the slammer. 76 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,438 The pokey, the slammer. What is it with you? 77 00:02:57,568 --> 00:02:58,874 I like cop shows. You learn things. 78 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,005 What about the Laundromat, 79 00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,529 the video store? 80 00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:03,270 They shut everything down. 81 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,924 God. So what are we gonna do for money? Yeah. 82 00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,188 That's an excellent question. 83 00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,670 How was Dollywood? 84 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,542 Magical. What are we gonna do about money? 85 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,371 Hey. 86 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:18,763 Hello. 87 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,200 Studying for a test? 88 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,114 Studying to take the bar exam. 89 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:23,638 Meemaw's going to need a smart lawyer. 90 00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,901 By the time we find one, I could just learn how to do it. 91 00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,642 - Seriously? - Common law 92 00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,252 was invented by a bunch of English farmers 93 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,993 in the Middle Ages. I think I can hack it. 94 00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:32,603 All right, what do you got? 95 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,127 Well, have you ever heard of Vincent "The Chin" Gigante? 96 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,477 He a boxer? 97 00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,653 He was originally. Good for you. 98 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,132 But he's better known 99 00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:41,743 as a major crime boss who managed 100 00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:42,787 to stay out of prison by employing the legal doctrine 101 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,224 of mens rea. 102 00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,790 Which is? 103 00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,314 He pretended to be nuts. 104 00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:48,924 He wandered the streets of New York in a bathrobe, 105 00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,969 he had poor personal hygiene, he mumbled to himself-- 106 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,493 all the cuckoo classics. 107 00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,538 Yeah. If you need someone to testify 108 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:55,539 that she's off her rocker, you give me a call. 109 00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,149 Thank you. 110 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,673 Toilet's backed up. 111 00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:01,023 What? Don't look at me. I just got home. 112 00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,373 Yeah, but it's had years of you. 113 00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:06,028 I'll check it out. 114 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,422 Come on, little buddy. 115 00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:09,988 You can do it. 116 00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:11,860 Talk to me. 117 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,862 There you go. 118 00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:16,386 Let it out. 119 00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:17,866 Aah! 120 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,828 Years. 121 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,395 ♪ Pump it up. ♪ 122 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,269 Here's the estimate. 123 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:30,835 I'm gonna need 50% down to get started. 124 00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,620 Are you kidding me? 125 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,057 We're fixing a toilet, not buying a car. 126 00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:37,320 Good thing I wasn't going to college. 127 00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:39,235 Nothing's wrong with your toilet. Septic tank is shot. 128 00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,629 What's a septic tank? 129 00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,718 It's basically a big container under the backyard 130 00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,850 that's filled up with all your... bathroom business. 131 00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:48,026 Ew! I played in that yard. 132 00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:50,072 Missy, not now. Come on, Phil. 133 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,900 Isn't there some kind of friends and family discount? 134 00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:54,119 I mean, we went to high school together. 135 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,818 Yeah, and you were mean to me. 136 00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:01,997 Oh, come on! I-I was mad at the world, not just you! 137 00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:05,696 I ate that dirt. 138 00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,132 Did he fix it? 139 00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:08,482 Not quite. 140 00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:09,570 And he's still a weasel. 141 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,659 - What'd he do? - Look. 142 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:14,357 What a weasel. 143 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:15,445 What are we gonna do? I mean, we're six people. 144 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:16,794 We need a toilet. 145 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,883 Don't worry. Georgie, come with me. 146 00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,624 - Where are we going? - I got a plan. 147 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,626 - Is it a good plan? - Yeah. 148 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:27,501 All right. So I believe that completes the sky. 149 00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:29,154 Satisfying, huh? 150 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:30,939 So, what do you think? 151 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,420 Want to get some exercise, 152 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:36,205 go for a walk until you start beeping? 153 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,033 Ha, ha, ha. It's not funny. 154 00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,556 My life is in shambles, 155 00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:40,905 and I'm too old to start over. 156 00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:42,603 Oh, come on. 157 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,169 You are not too old. 158 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:48,260 Now, listen, you are a smart, vibrant, perky woman. 159 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,698 - Perky? - Well, yeah, compared to me. 160 00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:52,569 And I'll tell you another thing. 161 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,354 Your life's not over. 162 00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:58,749 You are writing a new chapter in the book of you. 163 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,795 A book where 164 00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:04,320 a perky heroine rises up 165 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:05,582 and... 166 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,541 And what? 167 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,586 I don't know. Y-You want to get drunk? 168 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,240 - Yes. - Great. I'm gonna 169 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,850 run to the liquor store. You want to come with me? 170 00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:15,418 - Dale! - Right. Okay. 171 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,420 Be back in a jiffy. 172 00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:23,818 God help me, I love him. 173 00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:26,255 All right, just a little bit more. 174 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,127 Oh, easy, easy. There you go. 175 00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,129 Yeah. 176 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,044 - Not bad, huh? - I don't know. 177 00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,742 Might look better by the fence. 178 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:38,093 Look better? It's a big plastic crap house. 179 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,442 Oh, dear Lord. 180 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:43,098 You wanted a toilet? Voilà. 181 00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:44,795 Where did you get it? 182 00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,493 From the high school. We got, like, ten of 'em 183 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,190 for visiting teams. Yeah... give it a whirl. 184 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,061 I'd rather die. 185 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,455 Is there a light inside? 186 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,631 - No. - Trust me, that's a good thing. 187 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,764 We'll just tie a flashlight to the handle. 188 00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:59,157 Huh. I always wondered what rock bottom would look like. 189 00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,072 Come on, at least check it out. 190 00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:07,383 I checked, I'm out. 191 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,561 I can't thank y'all enough. 192 00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,389 Oh, don't be silly. Stay as long as you need. 193 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,913 It's only temporary. Whatever. 194 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,915 We're just thrilled to have you and the baby here. 195 00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:19,439 And me, too, right? 196 00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:21,441 Yes, you'll be here, too. 197 00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:24,966 Well, let me give you a hand. 198 00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,794 Oh. Thanks. Now, Georgie, 199 00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,883 if the police come for you, what should we tell them? 200 00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:31,146 Mom. I'm sorry. 201 00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:34,105 I've never harbored a fugitive before. Mom! 202 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,027 Who's that guy? 203 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:44,289 It's Donny Osmond. 204 00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:45,856 Never heard of him. 205 00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,423 You know, Donny and Marie? 206 00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,773 Sometimes I forget how old you are. 207 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,819 Thank you. 208 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,995 I'm sorry about my mom. 209 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,737 You kidding? We got a double bed and an indoor bathroom. 210 00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,086 She can spit in my Corn Flakes, and I'm a happy camper. 211 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:01,045 Good, 'cause she might. 212 00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:02,830 Don't worry. I'll win her over. 213 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,049 - She thinks you ruined my life. - So? 214 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:07,878 You thought I ruined your life, and you married me. 215 00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:11,186 I called it. I said no good would come of this marriage. 216 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:12,927 Yeah, yeah, you said it a lot. 217 00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,581 You said it at the wedding. 218 00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,278 But, uh, still, you know, I... 219 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,454 I think you could be a little nicer to him. 220 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,848 Sure, I can also go out in the backyard 221 00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:23,024 and water the crabgrass. 222 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,767 - We're gonna be okay, right? - Oh, of course. 223 00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,420 How can you be so sure? 224 00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,858 Hey, you didn't just marry a pretty boy like Danny over here. 225 00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:33,338 - Donny. - Yeah, him. You know, 226 00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:35,384 I'm the hardest worker you'll ever meet. 227 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,778 When I see something I want, I don't stop till I get it. 228 00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,170 You are relentless. 229 00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:42,434 The good news is, with Amanda back in the house, 230 00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,393 I can help her come to her senses. 231 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,265 Good plan. Hey, uh, in the meantime, 232 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,441 I was thinking of putting Georgie to work at the store. 233 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:52,488 There you go, watering the crabgrass. 234 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,490 It's not charity, all right? He'll work. 235 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,057 He's a criminal, Jim. 236 00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:59,408 And what I want is to take care of you and CeeCee 237 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,802 and maybe someday a Georgie Junior Junior. 238 00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,630 You mean George the Third. 239 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,328 No, that's too fancy. He'd get his ass kicked. 240 00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,460 - Mm, yeah. - And for your information, 241 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,898 those little backroom slot machines are all over town. 242 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,334 How do you know? 243 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:14,858 People tell me stuff. 244 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:18,688 I... I just got-- I got one of them faces. 245 00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:22,692 I had a plan to avoid using the porta-potty. 246 00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:24,781 I just had to get through the night 247 00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,827 until I could get back to my dorm in the morning. 248 00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:29,351 I lowered my overall liquid intake, 249 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,440 skipped my pre-bed chamomile tea, 250 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,574 and gave my bladder a stern talking to. 251 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,750 My bladder did not listen. 252 00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:45,585 I can do this. 253 00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:46,803 My body may have been weak, 254 00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,849 but my mind was strong. 255 00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,285 I just needed to think about this situation 256 00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:51,808 in a different way. 257 00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:54,637 Instead of a porta-potty, it was a TARDIS. 258 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:57,553 Instead of Sheldon, I was Doctor Who, 259 00:09:57,684 --> 00:10:00,687 whose urine was ready to travel through space and time. 260 00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:03,820 For those who aren't familiar, 261 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,214 the TARDIS is bigger on the inside. 262 00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:09,130 This one, however, was smellier on the inside. 263 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,393 I can't do this. 264 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:15,136 I'm not proud of this, but that night, 265 00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:18,835 I relieved myself inside Billy Sparks' chicken coop. 266 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:21,142 Until my wife, those hens were the only females 267 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,318 I ever exposed myself to. 268 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:28,192 I guess I could have left that part out. 269 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:29,063 Oh, well. 270 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,152 More bacon? 271 00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,980 Pile it on. 272 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,111 Good morning. 273 00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:35,939 Morning. Have a seat. 274 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:39,508 Georgie made us breakfast. Isn't that nice? 275 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,553 Oh, well, look at that. Thank you. 276 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,425 - My pleasure. - I guess 277 00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:44,600 I'll just have to run to the supermarket later 278 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,471 and get some more eggs 279 00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,386 for that cake I was going to make. 280 00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,695 Oh, no problem. I-I can go to the grocery store. 281 00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,263 Oh. Apparently we're not job-hunting today. 282 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:58,701 Oh, speaking of jobs. 283 00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,617 Good luck to you, son. 284 00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:07,057 Meemaw. Meemaw. 285 00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:08,755 Meemaw. 286 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,801 What? 287 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,977 Oh, my, you look terrible. 288 00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:14,978 Are you sick? 289 00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,241 Of life, yes. 290 00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:18,721 Oh, good. That's not contagious. 291 00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:21,071 Get in here. The light's killing me. 292 00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:23,117 You smell like alcohol. Yucky. 293 00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,557 Look who came to visit. 294 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,690 - Oh, great. - You will 295 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,692 think it's great when you hear the brilliant legal strategy 296 00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,389 I have to keep Meemaw out of prison. 297 00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,478 I thought you were a science guy. 298 00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,872 I am, but sometimes I like to spread my wings. 299 00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:41,222 Oh, okay. Uh, proceed. 300 00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:42,005 What do you got? 301 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,877 It's simple. 302 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,879 We argue under Article 46-B of the Texas Penal Code 303 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,533 that you're unfit to stand trial due to mental incompetence. 304 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:51,058 You-you want to tell 'em I'm crazy? 305 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,495 Yes. And keep this look. It really bolsters our case. 306 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,019 Has this worked before? 307 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,064 It has. 308 00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:59,196 Oh. Well, that's good news. 309 00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:02,286 The bad news is, you'll probably be institutionalized. 310 00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:05,725 You-you... you want me to go to the nuthouse? 311 00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,944 I want you to stay out of prison. 312 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,991 Oh, Moon Pie, thank you. Thank you so much. 313 00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:12,470 I really do 314 00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,255 appreciate it, but I'm fine. 315 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:16,953 You know, I have a buddy whose nephew is a lawyer. 316 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,650 He's gonna help us out. 317 00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,435 Is this because I haven't passed the bar yet? 318 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,480 Because that's just a formality. A monkey could do it. 319 00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:25,440 No, I... I think that I'd just feel a little more comfortable 320 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,181 if I was getting advice 321 00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:31,533 from somebody who had a little more professional experience. 322 00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:34,275 Okay. I mean, I've been doing this for a day and a half, 323 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:35,929 but suit yourself. 324 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,152 Got your eggs, everything on the list. 325 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,372 Thank you. 326 00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:45,895 Also filled out an application 327 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,767 to be a bag boy while I was there. Oh. 328 00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:50,857 Wonderful. My son-in-law, the bag boy. 329 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,597 It's only temporary. 330 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,251 I'll make my way up to cashier, 331 00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,688 then night manager, then manager-manager, 332 00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:59,953 then regional supervisor, then it's just a hop, skip and a jump 333 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,259 to HQ. That's short for headquarters. 334 00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:05,132 You can do all that without a high school diploma? 335 00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,830 If you're a member of the can-do club. 336 00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,529 God help me. 337 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,924 I'll just put these away. 338 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:22,018 What's the can-do club, and why is my mom so mad about it? 339 00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:28,198 What are you doing? 340 00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:29,852 Cleaning out these rain gutters. 341 00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,114 Otherwise, the water gets backed up 342 00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,899 and wrecks havoc on your roof. 343 00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:35,379 Wreaks... havoc. 344 00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,511 No, I'm pretty sure it's wrecks, 345 00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,165 'cause that's what it do. 346 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:44,562 Oh, look at that. 347 00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,564 Audrey, is this your Wham-O? 348 00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,828 Audrey? 349 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:53,049 And the wolf said, "I'm gonna huff 350 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,096 and puff and blow your house down." 351 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:59,403 Don't worry. Daddy'll never let that happen to you. 352 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,144 I'm gonna keep you safe. 353 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,885 Uh-oh. 354 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,887 Somebody needs a new diaper. 355 00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,976 Come on, let's get you one. 356 00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,110 Oh, hey. 357 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,372 She's got you and Mandy's good looks, but-- 358 00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,330 phew-- she poops like her dad. 359 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,506 Lovely. 360 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,425 Your grandma's coming around on me. 361 00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:22,644 Yeah, she is. 362 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,782 The good news is, I've had some encouraging talks 363 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:31,740 with the district attorney, and I think that we can... 364 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,612 Hang on. How old are you? 365 00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:37,006 I know I look young, but I'm 24. 366 00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,530 You bring me a child attorney? 367 00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:42,316 Well, you were about to take advice from a 14-year-old. 368 00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,883 Oh, who's that? I might know him. 369 00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,710 Oh, just finish up what you were saying. 370 00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:46,842 Right. A deal can be made 371 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,539 without going to trial. 372 00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,802 You plead guilty, pay a fine, lose your business license, 373 00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,674 maybe some community service, 374 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,632 probation, but no jail time. 375 00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,286 So I'll lose the gambling room, 376 00:14:56,417 --> 00:15:00,551 but I can keep the Laundromat and the video store? No. 377 00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:02,640 Those are all considered a part of the criminal enterprise. 378 00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:03,641 They get confiscated. 379 00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:05,556 What if I fight it? 380 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,036 On what grounds? 381 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,125 I didn't have an illegal gambling room. 382 00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,388 I collected... 383 00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:13,042 antique slot machines. 384 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:14,696 It was my hobby. 385 00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:15,958 And the evading arrest? 386 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,568 I was just taking my great-granddaughter 387 00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:19,266 for a brisk stroll. 388 00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,832 I'm confused. 389 00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,878 Did we start the insanity thing? 390 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,706 I think you should take this deal. 391 00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,012 Put everything behind you, 392 00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:27,100 get on with your life. 393 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,797 What life? I have no life. 394 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:29,624 You have me. 395 00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,321 Yeah, yeah. 396 00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:32,801 What if I had something 397 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,585 to offer? 398 00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:37,632 Then maybe I could keep my businesses and skip the fine? 399 00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:39,025 What are you thinking? 400 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,201 That greedy rat of a cop I was paying off. 401 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:42,506 Rutledge? 402 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:43,725 He's the one who flipped on you. 403 00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,509 Son of a bitch. 404 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,990 You can't even trust a dirty cop these days. 405 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,123 - Come on, Connie. - Yeah. 406 00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:52,125 No one wants to see a grandma behind bars. 407 00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:53,126 Great-grandma. 408 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,344 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 409 00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:55,345 How old are you? 410 00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,390 None of your business. 411 00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,566 So, 412 00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:00,133 do I tell 'em we have a deal? 413 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,135 Okay, fine. 414 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:03,223 Oh, thank God. 415 00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,094 I'm too old to find somebody new. 416 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,281 What are you doing? 417 00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:20,066 Making a withdrawal. 418 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:23,765 You put a hole in my wall and hid money in it? 419 00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:24,940 It seemed safe. 420 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,681 I mean, who'd look for money in this dump? 421 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:28,988 Why do you need it? 422 00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:30,772 Legal fees. 423 00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:31,947 Maybe a new gambling room. 424 00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:34,210 - Mom. - By the way, 425 00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,691 what is that porta-potty doing out there in your yard? 426 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,606 We're having plumbing issues. 427 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,216 We need a new septic tank. 428 00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:41,522 Ouch. 429 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:43,002 Tell me about it. 430 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,527 How much you got in there? 431 00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:47,571 None of your business. 432 00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,312 It's in my wall! 433 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,010 It's the devil's money, Mary. 434 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,490 - You don't want it. - I don't care. 435 00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,536 Last night, I went to pee and there was a snake in there. 436 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,059 Here you go. 437 00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,628 Get yourself some indoor plumbing. 438 00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:03,152 Oh, Mommy, thank you. 439 00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,939 Snake's back! Snake's back! 440 00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:14,903 Nice house. 441 00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:16,818 Got the job. 442 00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:19,038 Part-time bag boy. 443 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:21,257 Well. They let you take the apron home? 444 00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,129 Aw, shoot. 445 00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,175 That's great, Georgie. I'm really proud of you. 446 00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,395 It's only temporary till I find something better. 447 00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,184 Listen, Georgie, 448 00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,620 Audrey and I were thinking... 449 00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,405 I was thinking... 450 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,624 I could really use some help down at the tire store. 451 00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:42,496 Really? Selling tires? 452 00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,107 You are not gonna regret this. 453 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:46,456 I'll work my butt off for you. 454 00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:47,544 Nights, weekends, holidays-- 455 00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:48,763 you name it, I am there. 456 00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,853 Pretty impressive kid, huh? 457 00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:53,898 We'll see. 458 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,510 "We'll see"? 459 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:57,598 Good job. 460 00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:58,686 Told you. 461 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,608 ♪ I go out walkin' ♪ 462 00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:10,001 ♪ After midnight ♪ 463 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:13,179 ♪ Out in the moonlight ♪ 464 00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:15,485 ♪ Just like we used to do 465 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:16,791 ♪ I'm always walkin'... 466 00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,140 What the hell is...? 467 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:19,315 Oh, a snake! 468 00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:21,230 Snake! Oh! A snake! 469 00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:23,145 Snake! 470 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,234 Mary?! 471 00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:26,105 Bring a towel! 472 00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,938 Captioning sponsored by CBS 473 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,637 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 474 00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:39,944 and TOYOTA. 475 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:44,075 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org